" Looking back on a season of loss can allow for much gratitude in the heart. However, walking in the midst of it tests every hope to see if it is solid enough to stand on. When pain is a fiery, constant companion to your raw, torn-up heart and all of life suddenly seems shallow and meaningless, where does that leave us? The pain of loss is like a continual night and life without color...until He whispers hope into the darkness. And then the soul will struggle through the choice to reach out and embrace it or deny its comfort. He knows when our heart can't feel his love through the pain and so He holds out hope - and we have a choice." Author Unknown
I saw this quote this morning and it took my heart back to a place of remembrance of losses, pain, and disappointments I have suffered in my life. When one is walking in the dark and the pitch black is drowning out every speck of light, your soul eyes strain to focus on anything tangible. Your path is is obscured by that shrouding veil of hopelessness. You stumble. You trip. You bump into obstacles in your pathway and wince at the pain. You slip and slide through the endless stream of tears. You just cannot seem to get a grip. And you feel you are drowing in a sea of darkness. You forget to breathe or you gasp for air. I remember it well. Yet in the midst of these thick slices of trials in which life inevitably serves, there is One who is always there holding out hope. What would we do without hope?
You reach out for help. And well wishers in the goodness of their hearts will tell you what to do. Just have hope. Just have more faith. Just read your Bible...yada, yada. When you feel like your heart is crumbling, the last thing you want is a list of "should dos". You just want relief. You just want comfort. You just want the strength to hold on yet another moment. Loss is excruciating. You feel abandoned. You feel forgotten. You are confused and misunderstood. Loneliness is a shallow word when trying to define how you feel.
A couple of days ago, a dear friend wrote to me pouring out her sorrow and feelings of abandonment. This strong woman of faith shared that she had no hope that God is there for her. It is difficult to know what to say in this situation. It is not a time to correct. Correction is not needed. It is really not a time to advise. Her heart is tired. And in my own inadequacy, all I could do was tell her this, " I remember."
And I began to share with her the way I felt in dark seasons . "It was through my very doubt, fear, anger, disappointment and hopelessness that God did show Himself strong. Nothing shall seperate us from the love of God. Not even our own lack of feeling or hope. So hope is still there because Hope is a person and HE is within you whether you feel Him or not. And HE is caring for you now. HE never abandons His own. And who am I to say that I will never feel like that again? Who is to say that just because I have been through times when I doubted God and lost hope that I may never go through it again later? It is even Him who holds our faith together...to say that I have arrived to a place that I will never feel like He is abandoned me or forgotten me is arrogant. I know that there are trials ahead in my life. I pray for the grace to see me through even if I lose hope.We are frail in our humanity but strong in HIM!"
We live in an age where we focus so much on the future and the unknowns. We make assessments and make conclusions of doomsday because of so many negative clouds surrounding us. However, when the dark clouds hang low and press heavily upon us we must remember that truth will always stand and that there will always be hope. When my heart fails me, my God will never fail me. When my mind lies to me, my Father will remind me of the truth. And when my hope seems lost I can be still, open my soul in broken abandon and hear His whispers of hope. When it seems as cascading tears will never cease to flow, we can be assured that not only does He contain each teardrop in a bottle, but He counts each one that falls. Hope is not dependent on me and my strength. Hope is in the One who is the very essence of hope. Do you feel your hope wavering today? Do you feel that darkness is swallowing every ounce of strength you have? Do not give up. When you cannot hold hope, our Hope Whisperer stands in your midst and holds hope for you. He will never release His grasp upon you. Find rest and strength in the arms of the Hope Whisperer. For in Him there is always hope, always something to look forward to, and always the prevailing truth that Hope always wins.
Love to all,
Ange
AND THIS HOPE WILL NOT LEAD TO DISAPPOINTMENT (IN THE END). FOR WE KNOW HOW DEARLY GOD LOVES US BECAUSE HE HAS GIVEN US THE HOLY SPIRIT TO FILL OUR HEARTS WITH HIS LOVE. (ROMANS 5:5)
