Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The News is Out!

Right around the time I put the ultrasound pictures up, we began the share the good news about the twins with the rest of our family and friends. It never ceases to amaze me how people respond to the arrival of a new family member. Usually if it is your first baby, EVERYONE is ecstatic for you. And even with baby number two, there are heartfelt congratulations and excitement that the first baby will have a sibling.

However, once you break the news you are expecting baby number three and beyond, it seems the excitement wears off and you begin to get funny looks, and crude comments. At least this is how it has been for us. Now we are expecting twins and we already have 9 children. Can you imagine what others are saying or their reaction? It always kind of touches a sensitive place in me.

Why is it that people are elated and proud if you get a raise, bought a new house, have position and stamina and other worldly accomplishments? But if you are having your 7th, 8th, or 9th baby you get responses of negativity. Did you know that back in the days the Bible was written, a man who had a lot of children were considered honored and favored by God. Therefore they had a lot of respect.

In this day and time, one is looked down upon by many and even disrespected for having a large brood as if we have no brains or are irresponsible. Well, let me tell you. Children are a gift from God. Houses will decay, positions and fame will crumble, degrees will only last a lifetime. But human life is eternal. And I am glad that I have invested in the eternal things of this life. I see it as a privilege to raise children, to spend time with them, to hold them, hug them and kiss their sweet cheeks. So for future's sake, if you come across a woman who is having a third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth of beyond. Remember a mother's heart is tender and raw. Every life she has carried in her womb is very precious because she carries the heart of God for children.

Here are a few do's and dont's should you bump into someone with a blessed announcement like ours.

Do acknowledge the news and say "congratulations" and truly be happy for the family. Every single life is precious.

Do encourage her if you are connected closely with her or are a member of the family. Let her know you are proud that she is working hard to raise a strong generation.

Do email or call from time to time to see how she is doing or if you live close by, offer to help in some way. Remember the early weeks are sometimes just as difficult as the last weeks of the pregnancy.

Do have a positive perspective. Your attitude can either build up or tear down a precious heart.

Don't laugh, snicker, make cynical comments, or participate in worrisome talk such as , "How is she going to do it?" Remember if you are a person of faith, Walk in faith for the family knowing that God will provide. Even ask yourself, "What can I do?"

Don't be judgemental. If you have two children or three, that does not mean there is something weird or strange about someone who may have more children. We are not strange. We are normal people just like you. We just have a few more kids.

Don't talk about a baby who has died to a mother who just found out she is pregnant. Speak words of joy and life.

Don't be offended by my post. I know it seems harsh. I am just sharing a place in my heart that always is tender around this time in a pregnancy when the news first comes out. I will get over it. I always have.

Our first appointment with the specialist is in two days. I am nervous but I am counting on God to care for us all. I want to thank those of you who sincerely took time to acknowledge our good news. Some of you called, some emailed and sent text messages. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate those of you who were truly sincere in your wishes. You positive words will bless us for days to come. It is a kind person who does not withhold edifying words. Thank you and bless you.


1 comment:

angie said...

I am sorry for the unkind words you
are hearing. I have heard them all
too. I will be praying for you and
those precious babies. You are all
in God's hands.
Angie in NC